In a marriage between two nuclear engineers, humor is one of the most important aspects. So, when my husband recently declared himself the ‘King of the Comeback’, I simply said, “Really? Have I ever heard any?” (Honestly, we laughed for a little while at that one. If you aren’t laughing now, then a) you didn’t get it or b) you aren’t an engineer or c) you are my husband and you are reading this and you are still upset that I had a comeback to your ‘King of the Comeback’ declaration! Either way, I kill me!)
Humor aside, I have asked my husband what he would be if he weren’t an engineer. He has answered “Hobo!” on many occasions. I’m not concerned, though. I think the general sentiment is that he wouldn’t know what to be if he weren’t an engineer (but I try to find the best in people, in reality he may just be really unmotivated). I guess that’s why I’m the stay-at-home mom instead of him being the stay-at-home hobo. (However, I am preparing myself for his retirement years – I’ve got a hobo sack and train schedule for him.)
My husband has already decided that my second career should be as a politician (or as I like to think of it – bridge burner.) As a politician, I would be able to use my expert negotiation skills finely honed from years spent working with kindergartners, Girl Scouts and West Highland White Terriers. These skills mostly involve the use of the words, “No!”, “Drop it!” and “Get that out of your mouth!” (Surprisingly, words that probably aren’t completely unfamiliar in the political realm.) My husband knows that I would only be elected for a single term because I have such little patience for nonsense. I have even less patience for whiners, crybabies and other non-engineers (I’m kidding, of course. I can tolerate crybabies!). In keeping with good engineering practice, all of the legislation crossing my desk would have to pass the test of sanity, logic and reason (Oh, I still kill me). Probably like most things in my life, after a while I wouldn’t be legislating for the good of the people, I would be doing it just for the blog material.
Second career options aside, my husband and I do find other things to talk about. The most commonly asked question in our household is “Why would someone make something like that?” We actually mean to be asking why someone would choose to design a system/appliance/device like they did when they could have made it right? (Engineers can be obnoxious when it comes to running the world, I know.) The other question that gets asked frequently and is completely rhetorical is “Do you know what I don’t understand?” The second question is usually attached to the first question as in: “Do you know what I don’t understand is why someone would make something like that?” (There is a lot of lost time in our household wondering why others messed things up so badly.)
There are times when I have to suppress the engineer in me (I am seldom very successful at this particular task). Recently, I was telling a fellow musician why I was late to rehearsal (because my van needed work). He asked what was wrong with the van and I told him in very brief terms. He wasn’t satisfied with my explanation and knowing that I am an engineer, he wanted to know why I didn’t draw a schematic, rule out operator error, identify the root cause, submit a new design recommendation and record the lessons learned. If it were a nuclear based system, I might have been tempted, but since my husband isn’t a hobo, I could pay the nice mechanic just enough to fix the problem and be on my merry way. (I also know that if I had to look very closely at the van’s innards, I would be uttering…”Do you know what I don’t understand is why someone would make something like that?” And I just don’t want to go there.)
So, if in the future you see a woman running for office with a hobo as her campaign manager, then you’ll know she’s probably thinking about using her negotiating skills to make the world a better place (or maybe she’s just thinking, “Do you know what I don’t understand is why someone would write a blog like that?”)
